Category: Coming (Out)
-
“I spent 20 years denying who I was, living the life I was told I should live, all while slowly destroying myself.”
Pronouns: She/Her/Hers Trish was only 11 years old when she found a lost earring on the street and pocketed it to bring home. Alone in her room, the little boy she once was would hold it up to her ear, looking in the mirror and wishing it was her accessory to wear. Today, as a…
-
“I second-guessed myself a lot for the first couple years but came to feel very comfortable and at home with that label.”
Pronouns: She/Her/Hers Liana was raised by a fairly liberal family in a rather conservative rural community. She started questioning her identity when she was 18 years old, being encouraged to do so after someone in her high school class sold T-shirts that read “Love the sinner hate the sin,” which spurred internet controversy for that…
-
“I wonder if he knows that moment will stay with me for the rest of my life.”
Pronouns: E/Em/Eirs Michi spent a lot of eir time shifting between opposite lifestyles and homes in eir childhood years. E said in some parts of eir life e were surrounded by out, queer kids. “But because of the instability of my home life and my family’s ties still to the conservative lifestyle when we were…
-
“I wish I never had you.”
CW/TW: SA, emotional and physical abuse, use of the f-slur, attempted suicide Pronouns: She/Her/Hers Angelique grew up in the 70s as an only child, where her parents only knew of identities as either being gay or straight. “It was obvious I was a straight male [to them],” she said. She described her childhood as quite…
-
“Other kids seemed to know more about me than I knew about myself.”
Pronouns: He/Him/His Darren grew up in the Newport Beach, Calif. area with his mother after she and his father divorced. He described the area as “a quiet beach town, very different from today’s ‘OC’ moniker.” And when he was younger, Darren remembers being enamored with some other boys his age. He didn’t know how to…
-
“The only way to get to your freedoms and goals is to take that first scary step.”
Pronouns: He/him/his Flynn grew up in a strict Christian home and he started questioning his identity at 6 years old, but didn’t start looking into the community until he was 11. He described the experience as “Scary but relieving.” The first time he came out was to his mom when he was 13 years old.…
-
“She didn’t want to talk to me because it tore her apart. She didn’t want to hear my voice.”
“It’s amazing how some people will be fine with it and others not so much. I found that out real fast. That’s when you find out who your real friends are.”
-
“I started to see there were other people like me. I’m not alone anymore.”
“If you feel different, talk to somebody you can trust because at least then it comes out and you’re expressing yourself a bit more. I’ve missed out a huge number of years and I wouldn’t want anybody else to do that.”
-
“I was not alone in this for once in my life.”
Pronouns: They/Them/Theirs Nox was born to an Asian and Muslim family, where their household was strictly religious. The only people who know about their sexuality are their best friend and younger cousins. They were always curious about others as early as they could remember, but Nox started questioning when they were about 14 years old…
-
“I wanted to feel alive all the time, not just in therapy.”
CW/TW: Mental health, suicidal thoughts Pronouns: He/Him/His When Oliver was introduced to the idea of intercourse at 6 years old, he immediately knew it wasn’t for him. “I don’t want any of that,” he recalled thinking at the time. And that feeling has never changed. This was the earliest time Oliver had insight into the…
-
“I just came out publicly for the first time and you want me to do it again?”
Pronouns: He/Him/His James first identified himself as a gay man when he was 16 years old, though he knew he’s been different since 7. “While [my brother and I] looked through the JCPenney Christmas catalog, he would turn to the girls in bras and panties and I would turn to the boys in underwear,” he…
-
The Annual Holiday Gauntlet: Tips on how to stay in a positive mindset and practice self-care during the holiday season
By Tas Kronby | Website The end of the year is one of the most challenging times for mental health. Everyone has heightened anxiety and an increase of stressors. When you are neurodivergent and part of the LGBT community you may not be out to your family and friends. Even if you are out, there…
-
“I started looking into it and realized that was me.”
Pronouns: He/Him/His and They/Them/Theirs After realizing he felt different at 3 years old, Ev described his situation growing up as “shitty.” However, when he was in fifth grade, he felt that he/him felt better. “When I got a phone, I started seeing how big the LGBTQ community was,” Ev explained. “I started looking into it…
-
“The evening was joyous as I experienced the first ever real taste of being myself.”
By Vicki Faith Pronouns: She/Her/Hers Dear reader, before I start this short note I would like to say a few words of my own about its nature. I have written a couple of articles before and I always try to get a good balance between positivity and negativity to best reflect my own life experiences…
-
“Do I stay unhappy for the rest of my life or do I start this process to be happy and live authentically?”
Pronouns: He/Him/His Content Warning: Gun violence, institutionalization In the backyard, Wyatt would watch his brother and best friend running around and wrestling without their shirts on, and wanted to take part. He grew up in a small town whose parents had a lot of money, he said. His parents divorced when he was around 8…
-
“Though it was difficult in the early months, it gradually became less of a purposeful action and more of a normalized routine.”
TW/CW: Abuse, addiction, war, suicide attempts Pronouns: She/Her/Hers and They/Them/Theirs By the age of 5, J. Adaline Britt started questioning her identity in small-town, rural east Texas. “As early as I have memories, I’ve been upset and confused about how my external shell does not align to my internal emotions, beliefs and identity,” she said.…
-
“It’s helped me realize who I am and who I was meant to be.”
CW/TW: Physical and emotional abuse Pronouns: He/Him/His At just 7 years old, Justyn knew something was different about him. Though he’s always had friends in the LGBTQ community, he didn’t know much about it until he was a teenager. Growing up, he was physically and emotionally abused by his parents and others for the way…
-
“It was a million different moments combined that helped us accept ourselves.”
Trigger/Content Warning: Abuse, trauma, rape, cults, racism and oppression Pronouns: They/Them and We/Our They were poor and unsure when they would have food on the table next. Obtaining a pair of socks was a cause for celebration. Tas grew up in a restrictive and abusive Christian-based cult, where they experienced trauma through their childhood and…
-
Clever and funny ways to come out to friends and loved ones
Bake a rainbow cake with “it’s a girl” “it’s a boy” “it’s a gay” etc. Ask mom or dad to come over for help and stand in a closet. When they arrive tell them you’re stuck but walk out of the closet after they try and open it. (What I did) “Hey mom, ya know…
-
National Coming Out Day: Looking ahead
A word from the COAYA team: As our week-long observance of National Coming Out Day is coming to an end, I would like to take some time to reflect on the meaning and importance of having such a celebration. While we welcome and celebrate the coming out of LGBTQ individuals of all faces of life,…
Come (Out) as You Are 